Friends Unite against Pigs

[rebellisk_tarta]

The intimacy of ordering food and “shall we share it?”

Fredrik was in the line at the local booze store waiting to be served. He had four bottles of vodka in his shopping basket and couldn't help but notice the stares coming from behind him. It was a large burly man who kept his eyes fixed on the glam bassist in front of him, offering the boy menacing glances. Mikkel was next door in the grocery store getting some food so they could share it. Hot takeaway burgers and maybe some fries.

"Move along, girly. I think you're next. Stupid punk kid with long hair. Why don't you fucking chop that shit off since you're supposed to be a boy. Are you? You can't tell with you lot sometimes. Fucking queer bitches."

The Swede frowned as he heard the man's words rasped behind his neck, way too close for comfort as he span around pissed off wanting to tell this jerk to fuck off. How dare he. This fucking fat asshole needed to learn some manners!

"Fuck off, fet mage. "Fat belly." Why don't you leave people like me alone and go on a diet. You are a fat pig."

Paying for his booze and ignoring the fat bastard behind him, Fredrik was about to walk out the door when he felt his hair being pulled from the back. What the hell? Fuck! He tried to get free but couldn't since the fat bastard had him by his long blond hair.

"Fucking brat! No one talks to me like that especially not some fucking immigrant bitch like you. Foreign bastard punk. Why don't you cry to mummy?"

Fredrik aimed a punch at the guy's face but it was hard when your hair was being yanked back. Ouch! Fuck this! The Swede was beginning to panic a little as he'd never been abused in public like this by some fat fuck of an ignorant American.

"Let me go! How about I get the cops on your big fat ass? Fuck you---"

The Swede swore in his own language and then could see the outline of a pair of long legs entering the booze store. Mikkel. Fredrik aimed a vicious kick behind but could only hear the fat man laughing as he tugged harder, enjoying hurting the Swede.

Comments

[oprorsk_sode]

Mikkel nodded. "I think Tom and Devon are the same age." He wasn't sure but he knew that Devon was older than Robert and Rekker. Fifty sounded right. "I think Ziggy is younger than Sigurd, maybe Karl's age?"

Mikkel leaned over and gave Fredrik a lingering kiss on the lips then dialed Tom. Like Robert he was quick to answer.

"I wasn't expecting to hear from you this early." Tom answered the phone with suspicion. Usually, most of the rockstars were asleep, at least the mischievous ones. Hearing from Mikkel this early put him on edge.

[rebellisk_tarta]

"Hello, Mr. Stardust! It's Fredrik and Mikkel here with questions."

Fredrik leaned close to the phone and could hear Tom on the other end. No doubt he assumed the two boys were up to no good or were stranded somewhere in town trashed or lost. Giggling loudly, Fredrik pushed some of his hair back as he spoke.

"We want to ask---does your cock get bigger the older you get? We've asked Robert and Rekker but haven't got an answer yet."

[hellomajortom]

Tom braced himself while sitting out on the balcony and enjoying the quiet while most of the rockstars were still asleep or at least subdued. Last night had been a madhouse.

Tom froze when he heard the questions. "Bloody well as it should be."

All he could do was sigh since he suspected not answering might put them at his door. After a moment Tom found himself laughing. "Do you two think people go around measuring themselves every year to keep track?"

Mikkel was taken aback by that question, staring at Fredrik for a moment. "I... well.. do you?"

[rebellisk_tarta]

"I've measured with Johan a few times but we wondered if the older you get the bigger it gets since Erik says Robert is big and Bjorn says Rekker is big. So, does that mean you are too?"

Fredrik could barely hold in the giggles so ate some more bread, looking to Mikkel, hoping that Tom wouldn't get too pissed off with the questions. He wasn't into measuring it seemed but then again many weren't.

"Hunter and Erik measured just now and Erik was bigger so brothers are not the same size."

[hellomajortom]

Tom was shaking his head. "And, did either of you change size between times?"

He was not going to answer these questions. "You know those answers are biased."

He kept trying not to answer and then laughed. "Are you insinuating that you're going to ask my wife?"

Tom could only imagine Aletayria having two young humans ask her things like this. She would probably be hilariously open about it as far as Tom could imagine. Mikkel was giggling so much that he could barely breathe.

Tom sighed. "I'm not surprised they did when you asked."

[rebellisk_tarta]

Fredrik wasn't sure if they should ask Mrs. Stardust, Ziggy's mother, since they would be rather rude wouldn't it? The Swede was trashy but he did have morals and asking Tom's wife would be a little crass.

"We won't ask your wife since that might be rude."

The Swede looking to Mikkel, shrugging. He still managed a smile though because this was still fun. Tom wouldn't buckle so maybe Devon would be the best bet?

"Shall we ask Devon next?"

Fredrik whispering to Mikkel past the phone.

[la_tornado]

Tom thought it would be funny to watch the boys ask one of the Antheans about this. His mind went to Tommy and the astronaut started laughing.

"Good luck." Tom mentioned when he heard that whisper. To be a fly on the wall when they call the drummer.

Mikkel told Tom goodbye and then started to laugh. "Do you think he'll answer us?"

Mikkel asked before shoving a whole spoon full of potatoes in his mouth and scrolling his contacts for the next target.

Mikkel giggled as he dialed. Devon, who didn't drink and turned in early, was awake, more awake than the others, and out on a hike when the phone rang.

"Let me guess, Rekker is trashed and you need something?" Devon knew the boys got up to things because he heard Rekker complain about it. Even if the drummer knew full well that his guitarist loved children and being needed as a parent, which was what Devon saw in the two blondes when they tagged around with Rekker or called him. It was like he was their father or an uncle.

[rebellisk_tarta]

"He should do? Unless he's busy practicing and then he won't be able to hear us."

Devon on the drums meant he wouldn't be able to hear his phone nor would he want to pick it up if he was busy. Hopefully he would though! Fredrik scooped up some potatoes himself and put them into his mouth, swallowing quickly when Devon answered. That was quick!

"Oh---not quite! We've got a question to ask. Does your cock get bigger the older you get? We've already asked Rekker, Robert and Tom but they didn't give us an answer."

The Swede now glancing to Mikkel hoping for an answer.

[la_tornado]

"He practices in the evening. Torden had me ask Rekker for Lars." Mikkel confirmed though he didn't know what Devon might be doing at this time of the day.

"You're asking people if their cock grows?" Devon wanted to be upset and shocked but the list of people they had asked was so hilarious that he found himself laughing as he walked along. What a question to ask!

"Not exactly, no." Was that even an answer? And then Devon wondered why he answered at all. This was insane.

"What does that mean?" Mikkel chimed in because that answer was both a yes and a no. Was the drummer evading them like everyone else?

[rebellisk_tarta]

"Yes, we're asking if they get bigger the older you get. Since you're one of the oldest on the tour we thought to ask you and Tom along with Robert. Erik says Robert is hung like a horse so we wondered."

Fredrik wondered what Devon meant by his words. It was all so confusing and why was he dodging the question? That part was annoying.

"Mikkel is right. What does it mean? Does it get bigger the older you get?"

They had to know!

[la_tornado]

Devon paused and stared out at the woods where he was walking to be away from the madness. However, he was soon laughing. What else could he do?

"No, it doesn't." What harm was there in answering. "If you become a lazy bastard it can get smaller though."

The words were out and then Devon just wanted to face palm. He knew Rekker was the one who sent them to talk to him. He was going to get that bastard back somehow.

"Smaller?" Mikkel was shocked. "How?"

[rebellisk_tarta]

"Yes, how does it? I've heard about shrinkage when you are in cold water but this is different."

Fredrik looked to Mikkel with wide eyes not knowing what to think. How could it get smaller if you were lazy? Not having sex made it smaller? The Swede was trying to guess.

"Do you mean if you don't have sex it---shrinks?"

This was a worrying fact if true.

[la_tornado]

Devon started to laugh but these were just young kids. He couldn't fault them for asking around about things like this, especially in such a sexually open group of people.

"It's..." Devon was wondering how to explain this. "If you don't stay active and your heart gets unhealthy it can make you smaller."

Mikkel was trying to to process this. "Do you mean when you have a heart attack or...."

Devon felt like maybe this was important. This was health stuff and he knew the Danes didn't seem to have any males in their life to give a shit.

"Before that. The same health problems cause both, usually."

Mikkel wasn't following. "But how does that make it smaller?"

[rebellisk_tarta]

"I don't want to get smaller when I get older or have a heart problem! How does it make it smaller?"

Fredrik was now not giggling anymore and had to know about this for later life. This was knowledge and Devon being more mature and more experienced knew these things. The young Swede eating more potatoes.

"We're all healthy being musicians, dancers and people moving about. This means we won't get shrunken cocks?"

Did that make sense?

[la_tornado]

This was going to be a long conversation so Devon found a place to sit down and have a talk with these boys now that he could hear the worry. He wondered what even got them on this subject at all.

"Well, how good your heart pumps blood effects how big and hard you get." This felt embarrassing but also good, to be a mentor of sorts to the younger ones. Was this really much different than teaching any other life skill? Devon is suddenly glad to be isolated where none of the other tour members could possibly hear this.

"You have to stay active when you're older too." Devon didn't even want to know what was going to be asked next.

"Is that why Bjorn says Rekker has a big cock? He's always swimming." Mikkel's mind was churning. "Wait! You rock climb and drum. Do you have a big cock too?"

Devon could only shake his head. What the hell was happening!

[rebellisk_tarta]

Fredrik couldn't help but snort giggles when Mikkel asked if Devon had a big cock due to his physical activity. The boy wasn't wrong though was he? Surely, if Robert was in the Special Forces and Tom was an astronaut then would that make sense? Rekker swam and surfed so---

"Oh, it must be true! All the older men are still really active so must have big cocks."

The Swede looked at Mikkel and nodded. This had to be it. So, the secret was keeping active when you reached middle age wasn't it? More fucking--that had to be it too.

"How about more fucking to keep it up more? Does that help? Or more jerking off to help with blood flow?"

[la_tornado]

"Well, no. You get to whatever size as a teen or young man. Working out isn't going to make it keep getting bigger." Devon started laughing because this was really funny.

"Depending on the sex, that is a type of exercise." Devon could openly admit that without too much embarrassment, though he did other things and not so much sex.

"So, is yours big too?" Mikkel hadn't let that go.

"I'm not telling you. You'll run off and tell Torden and then he'll whisper it to that other drummer." Devon wasn't going to be fooled.

Mikkel turned bright red, feeling caught red handed at part of his schemes.

[rebellisk_tarta]

"I bet it is big that's why Lars is chasing you around like a love sick puppy wanting your big huge hairy cock!"

Fredrik near collapsed into Mikkel giggling and not holding on to his fork which clattered to the floor because he was drunk. Oops. Picking it back up he cleaned it and then ate some more stew. Surely, this was all Devon would say on the matter now.

"I don't think he'll tell us. How about we phone that Brain boy Ivar slept with? He might tell us about twin cocks!"

[la_tornado]

"I don't know why Lars is chasing me around." Devon admitted. At first he did but now he was with the Dane and still chasing him around. "I thought it would stop now that he has a boyfriend."

Mikkel thought it might be worth returning the favor of sharing information. "Um.. Torden is open and I guess Lars is too? I think he thinks you're hotter?" Mikkel glanced at Fredrik who was giggling. "Maybe he likes older men. I do."

It seemed reasonable to Mikkel. Devon was pleasantly surprised by Mikkel being mature for a brief moment though both boys sounded drunk. Had they been up all night or were they starting early.

"I don't have his number." Mikkel admitted. "I have Minoru's, I think."

Devon shook his head at the fact more people were going to get ambushed and it was pretty funny. It was really funny. As far as prank calling, which this sort of was, it was endearing if annoying. They didn't seem to have anymore questions so Devon was quick to get off the phone if he could.

[rebellisk_tarta]

"Ok, let's phone up Minoru and maybe he can get his brother on the phone."

It would be fun either way. Surely, someone would know the answer regarding cock size and varying sizes between twins. Isamu and Minoru are twins! Fredrik giggled and then kissed Mikkel on the cheek. What a night so far!

"Someone will tell us about cock sizes---the twins have to know!"

The boys were running out of people to call.

[oprorsk_sode]

"I'll know if he lies!" Mikkel started giggling. "We can ask Ivar."

Mikkel was already dialing Minoru's phone number.

"If they don't.. do we know Jack's number?" Mikkel didn't. He'd never really met him but they could ask Damien. He'd surely have it. While waiting for Minoru to answer he refilled their glasses.

[itmeanstruth]

By the time they decided to phone the Uchiwa twins, it was well enough into the middle of the morning. A groggy Minoru answered his phone without looking to see who was calling.

“…moshi moshi?” He mumbled, still mostly asleep.

[rebellisk_tarta]

"Moshi moshi? What?"

Fredrik burst out laughing at what he was hearing over the phone. What language was that even? The Swede nuzzling into Mikkel's neck as he then went to refill his glass and take a bite of bread.

"This is Fredrik and Mikkel here! Is this Minoru?"

The bassist now leaning close to the phone microphone.

[oprorsk_sode]

Mikkel couldn't even say anything before he fell against Fredrik while giggling wildly. It was so intense that he dropped the phone and had to flounder to pick it up again.

"We have to ask you something." The Dane was laughing so hard that he was snorting and his cheeks ached. The two had been drinking for way to long, and Mikkel, at least, was starting to get silly from not sleeping too.

[itmeanstruth]

The massive amount of giggling, regardless of how loud or obnoxious it was, barely roused the sleeping orderly. It had been a very long night.

“…mmm, kay? what?” He mumbled, in English this time thankfully.